Leaders and Their Relationships

Lonnie Hilton

National Director & International Vice President

The spirit of our age is “me, my, and mine.” The focus is on what “I think, what I want, and what I feel.” This characteristic of today’s world is one reason that relationships are in crisis. Even church members and leaders have fallen prey to this way of thinking.

A self-centered society loses its sense of community, and so does a local church when its leaders are considering only self. Self-centeredness pits person against person and contributes to independence and isolation. For this reason we desperately need Godly, positive relationships in which we allow others to speak into our lives.


A good relationship is characterized by thoughtfulness, sensitivity, loyalty, confidentiality, and kindness. Those who have good relationships serve one another. The apostle Paul said that Christians should “be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). Everything else flows from that.

The leader who is always looking for how someone can help him is not going to have healthy relationships. He is using people, rather than serving them. Jesus’ example is the best one to follow because He perfectly modeled Godly relationships and leadership.

Leaders earn their right to lead by being servants. If a leader is only interested in what people can do for him and if he always has to be in charge, he will have a hard time leading. He’ll have a much more fulfilling ministry if he’s willing to serve, to share God’s Word, to share credit with other people, and to share ministry. That attitude reflects an unselfish spirit. Good ministry and good relationships flow out of a servant heart.

While we are responsible for the task that God has given us to do, the strength for the journey often comes from relationships with peers. God does not intend that we have an independent attitude and mentality: “I don’t need help from any one.” By joining hands with others, we can do more together than we can do alone. Recognize those whom God has placed in your life, cherish the relationships and their counsel, and serve them.

At the International Office we desire to serve you. Our vision is “Helping You Fulfill the Vision and Call God Has Given.” That is why we pray for you, produce the materials that we do, hold meetings around the world, set relational representatives in place, and communicate. We exist because you exist. Let us know how we can serve you.